The Ecdysiast Reaction
by AbitheWitch88
Summary: It's Howards bachelor night and the guys drag Sheldon to a strip club. Chapter 11 is up.! it's the big day! Please Review!
1. Chapter 1

The Ecdysiast Reaction.

I do not own anything, do not sue me, I'm poor, I have a rubix cube as a pillow and this laptop is my blanket, Don't waste your time, instead why don't you go and feed the homeless.

Thanks Jislane for your ideas sweety.

Please enjoy and leave a review on your way out if you like the story.

"I am not going to a strip club" Sheldon demanded, he turned facing his friends, his arms crossed as so to show his defiance against the most ridiculous of notions.

"See, this is why people don't tell you stuff" Leonard told him, they had deliberately not let him in on the stag party location for this simple reason, the only way had found out is because Howard had given Leonard the zip code, Sheldon had run it through his phone and discovered the truth.

"It's a bachelor night Sheldon for the sake of all that is good!" Raj protested, he had been looking forward to this all week, He and Howard had visited the place many times and the girls were beautiful, it was all very tasteful, apart from the cowgirl.

"I don't care, I assumed we would go to a club but I was hoping for more along the lines of one in Azeroth." Sheldon told the packed car.

"We can't go to a bachelor party in world of Warcraft Sheldon!" Leonard told him, he was tired of pointing out the obvious.

"Oh come on why not? we had my Birthday party there in May and I thought it was a hoot and a half" He argued.

"Ok, its my night Sheldon, you'll like this place, its no hands on but I wont hold that against them" Howard said, hoping the no touch policy would help, it didn't.

Leonard started the car, he had to take control, Sheldon wasn't going to ruin what could very well be Howards last night of freedom.

"Where are you going?" Sheldon asked, surprised by his friends actions.

"We are going to watch pretty girls dance whilst we drink. they have free WI fi so you can entertain yourself" Leonard told him.

"We have internet at home, lets all turn this car around and we can go back, you go in your room and use the internet there to entertain yourself as you do all the time" Sheldon was determined to win this battle, he was however not in the drivers seat.

Lexi was looking through the help wanted ads, she needed a new job, the one she had was far too humiliating, but money makes the world go round after all.

Her friend Claire had reminded her of this many times, besides, Lexi owed her $400 in back rent.

Lexi wished she was like her best friend, Claire was blonde and beautiful, she had men falling at her feet when she didn't even look anywhere near her best. She was a Paralegal for a prestigious law firm, working in a large office with guys who brought flasks to work.

She had blue eyes and a body that could make any man offer her marriage within minutes of meeting her.

Lexi was anything but that, she had red hair with black highlights, her eyes were deep green, her body was good and she had natural curves, she wouldn't call herself skinny but it was her body that paid her rent.

Lexi was a stripper.

Claire had called her a whore at first but went to see her friend perform and realized that she was anything but, Lexi was a LBDT, look but don't touch.

She hardly took her clothes off, she resembled more of a tease, she would start to take her skimpy outfit off but the audience never saw a thing. Lexi left the men (and sometimes women) crying out for more.

Claire had let Lexi live with her for the last few months since she moved to California from Boston, she needed to get away from her old life, she was only 22 but she had had enough of it all, like so many other girls she went looking to make something of herself.

Now she worked a few hours a night at 'Belles femmes' which is French for Beautiful Women, the funny thing was that her boss was called Belle, she named it after herself, she called the workers 'my girls'. She was very protective and the money was great, especially at themed nights like tonight.

Belles femmes was tasteful other than the graffiti outside of a guy saying 'these girls blow' whilst winking. Lexi was sure her boss had something to do with it. even more a reason to leave.

Lexi scanned the article in her hands, looking for anything that could capture her interests.

"I could be an IT Supervisor, after all, how hard can that be, turn it off and on again, if that fails contact manufacturer and don't spill soda on the keyboard!. I'm applying" she told her friend,

"The employers are gonna want more than that, what qualifications have you got? you worked in a hardware store through college where you studied English lit, it hardly speaks to prospective employers doesn't it" Claire told her from the kitchen.

"Arrr, you said 'prospective', that means you think I have a chance!" said Lexi, teasingly, moving off the couch toward her friend, "I shall apply!" she told Claire, a look on her face of sheer determination.

Claire loved this about her friend, she was always fun, when she first moved in her music annoyed the elderly neighbors, she tried to compromise and would throw in a loud rendition of the white cliffs of dover between Eminem songs but it didn't help.

Lexi grew tired of the cops stopping by so now she just resorts to shouting very loud random words to confuse them. Claire had even joined in with this a few times.

Lexi was so full of life, she wrote to the President once to tell him that she thought he was Lewis Hamilton the racing driver in disguise, her only argument for this ridiculous assumption was the fact she had never seen them both in the same place at the same time.

Now Claire was watching her best friend circle adverts in the hope of crawling out of the hole she was in. At least she hadn't resorted to becoming a hooker, thats why Claire had intentionally not pushed for the rent .

"How about the army? I could do that! I could wear the little hat and be carried out of sweat shops by men in white clothes, thats like the ultimate career move!" Lexi yelled, running to the computer,

"Your not seriously signing up online are you" said Claire, rushing to her friends side

"Nah, I can do that tomorrow, I'm off to work in like, 10 minutes, I'm just downloading a song off ITunes" she replied, Claire to sigh a breath of relief.

Lexi plugged her IPod in and transferred her recent purchase, throwing on her long black net coat over her jeans and tank top, she put her headphones in her ears and started singing along, loud enough for her neighbors to hear.

"The road, is long, there are mountains, in our way, but we climb a step, every day, love lift us up where we belong, where the eagles cry, on a mountain high"

Even though she had her headphones in, Claire was sure Lexi could feel the pounding from the wall.

Lexi walked the three blocks to the club, to onlookers she looked like a student, her clothes, style and physique resembled one, she was only 22 anyway. However the onlookers had no idea what was in her backpack, but it certainly wasn't books.


	2. Chapter 2

Tonight was SCI Fi night at Belles femmes, Lexi was getting into her cat woman out fit that flattered every inch of her.

Her co worker Katy looked over at her, "Oh my god, does that vibrate?" she asked, looking at the red light saber in Lexi's hand.

"Don't be gross, Belle is so going to hear from me about this, its the most overly inaccurate act I have ever done!" she told her, angrily. Belle knew this would upset her.

Lexi walked out onto the stage and looked at her audience, there were five guys in suits, no doubt at a business meeting, a creepy guy with his hand in his pockets fiddling, asking the barmaid for a 'dwink'.

There were some tourists wearing various 'I heart ' this and that T shirts, obviously missed their tour bus home and a group of guys who look like virgins, apart from one in a turtle neck and a 'groom' badge.

'lucky, lucky lady' Lexi thought as she started swinging around the pole, taking the light saber out of her cat suit, causing the men watching to throw some bills at her.

As she looked out at the guys, she noticed one of them on his iPad, at first she thought he was sending an email, telling his friends to get over here, but on closer inspection she noticed he was watching a movie.

As she crawled towards the front, slapping a few faces in the process she went up to this strange man, "am I not as interesting as Green Lantern?" she asked, giving him a wink.

"Well that depends, were you asked to work here by the guardians of Oa?" he replied, Lexi got the message, he didn't want to play, it was a shame actually, out of all the men he seemed the only reasonable catch, especially as he could afford an IPad and didn't have his hand near his crotch.

"That was rude" Leonard told him, trying not to miss a moment of the woman performing in front of him.

"I'm sorry, did I offend the woman who earns a living arousing people, gosh, why didn't my Mother prepare me for this social situation. by the way, I was being sarcastic" he replied.

"Dude, this is the best night of my life! the Barmaid winked at me and I got a video of Kripke masturbating! Sheldon, let me borrow your IPad, this is going straight to YouTube" Raj said in a drunken haze.

"Hey guys! thanks for bringing me here, just don't tell Bernadette!" shouted Howard over the song being played.

Lexi saw the red light in the distance, her turn was up, her friend Katy was next, she came on in her gold bikini and the crowd went wild.

She went to the bar to grab some water, Belle was standing there with a wad of cash.

"You made $300 in thirty minutes, it was the light saber I know it." she told Lexi, she took her ten percent and gave the rest to her employee.

This is why Lexi loved sci fi nights, she was a geek at heart, she had to be otherwise she wouldn't recognize the Green Lantern film, if truth be told, she would prefer to watch that rather than watch a naked man dressed as Spock take his clothes off.

She looked in the direction of the man with the movie, he stared at her from across the room, obviously she wasn't that bad then. Maybe she could persuade him to chat to her.

"Whats a nice guy like you doing in a place like this?" she asked him,

"My friends brought me here against my will, I should be at the comic book store right now, instead I'm watching a film in a strip club chatting to a hooker." he replied, not looking up from the screen.

"Just so you know, I'm NOT a hooker, I dance, thats all, I just made more in thirty minutes than you probably make in a day, what do you do anyway?" she asked, offended.

"I'm a theoretical Physicist at CALtech, I believe social convention dictates that I ask you what you do but you have already given me a demonstration." he replied.

"I dance and get well paid, I'm looking for another job though while I do this" she explained, she didn't know why but seemed to need to justify her actions to him.

"Sheldon come on! ask her for a lapdance!" Howard insisted, Lexi explained how she didn't do that, Raj moved to her side and told her about his rich parents back in India. It was the worst chat up line she had ever heard.

The boys left the club at one, after seeing Lexi perform two more times, she had earned more than enough to pay Katy.

Lexi left her wages in the safe, she always collected the next morning, it was too dangerous to walk home with a thousand dollars at night, and headed home.

As she left, she noticed the group outside, they were obviously intoxicated she thought, Belle had sacked the bouncer three nights ago after he tried to get it on with one of 'her girls', it wasn't done, and Lexi truly believed in Belle's morally high standards from her employees.

One of the guys was shouting obscenities, asking if she, to put it nicely, fancied having 'intercourse' in the alleyway. Another told her that if she could guess what he had in his pocket she could have it.

"Thanks all the same but if it fits in one pocket you can keep it" she told him with a smile.

She knew she was antagonizing them but they deserved it. Lexi was sick of the verbal abuse and mistreatment. People got completely the wrong idea about her.

The guy she insulted turned red, he couldn't take it, being treated that way and having his friends laugh at him. He finished his bottle of beer, and threw the glass bottle, knocking Lexi squarely on the back of the head, knocking her down.

Lexi felt the glass as it hit her, she remembered falling to the pavement, and she heard the laughs as she blacked out.


	3. Chapter 3

"You should get that looked at" Sheldon told her, staring at the red head on the ground with a cut on her head.

"Ah, it's you, I thought you guys left" she said, touching the gash in her head, trying to blindly assess it.

"We did but Leonard forgot his phone. Do you have any diseases I should know about? Social convention dictates that I assist you but I don't want to catch anything" he asked, not knowing the insulting way his remark was phrased.

"No, I have no diseases, I am perfectly healthy apart from the giant laceration on the back of my skull. Can you help me up?" she asked, now wasn't the time to take offense.

Sheldon reached down and took her hand, he helped he to stand, she instantly felt dizzy, her eyes were out of focus, she couldn't make out her surroundings.

"Come on, lets get you to the hospital" Leonard suggested, he and Sheldon were the only ones who didn't drink, he being the designated driver and Sheldon because he was just Sheldon.

Howard and Raj were on the back seats, sound asleep, Howard had several different shades of lipstick and a large smile across his face, Raj had a similar expression but Lexi gathered his lack of good chat up lines cost him the kisses.

She climbed in with assistance, Sheldon found the first aid kit from the trunk and handed her some sterile wads to help ease the blood flow.

"I told you it would be needed at some point, at some place, in this time continuum" Sheldon told Leonard who started the car.

"Yes but you originally insisted we keep one in there in case Madagascar secretly has a nuclear bomb, do you see the difference?" Leonard retorted, in the same smug tone as his companion.

This argument lasted the whole journey to the emergency room, they left the two men in the back asleep and headed inside, Lexi was now too concust to walk unaided, so Leonard pushed her in a wheelchair.

"Take the form, fill it out and bring it back" said the Nurse, Leonard recognized her, they had met on the previous excursions the group had made to this hospital.

"In his book 'A Textbook of Psychology' Edward Titchener wrote that 'déjà vu is caused by a person getting a brief glimpse of a situation prior to full conscious perception, resulting in a false sense of familiarity', either every time we come here we experience just that or, the more likely and scientifically valid explanation would be that you just say the same thing on each visit and it grows tiresome. " Sheldon told her, taking the clipboard from her hands before she could hit him on the head with it.

"We need to fill out these forms. I had to do the same a while ago for my friend Penny, she slipped in the tub as she had no way of achieving the right amount of friction in her bathtub and consequently ended up here. I sat in this very same place.

I think this will be my spot here, after this endeavor I will speak to the nurse about that." Sheldon told her, first he needed to wait for the nurse to calm down.

"Don't you think the nurse in the psychiatric ward would help you more?" Lexi asked, he seemed sweet but she wasn't in the mood to hear about his prior visits to the ER.

'Describe ailment or accident.' Sheldon asked. He could see what it was but she may have others, he didn't have X-ray vision.

"cut to the back of my head, please can you try and make it sound more than a boo boo?" she asked him, hoping his way with words will help her to get priority over her fellow patients, who in her opinion seemed perfectly healthy.

"Lets say, lesion penetrating to the stratum granulosum level of skin, extending from the parietal bone to the occipital bone, approximately seven centimeters in length." he suggested, leaving Lexi to believe she was in better hands with him than any of the over worked and under paid doctors the Hospital was providing.

"Sounds good to me" she said, smiling.

"How did it happen"? Sheldon asked, he hadn't seen what happened after all.

"A drunk guy threw an empty glass beer bottle at my head." she said, waiting for his better way of phrasing it.

"An intoxicated individual lapidated a , shall we say, 22 fl oz glass bottle at the cranium, resulting in the aforementioned injury.

Right , on to medical history. Do you have diabetes? "

"No"

"Kidney disease?"

"No"

"Migraines?"

"I have one right now"

"Are you pregnant?"

"No"

"How long ago was your last menstrual period?"

"I think a couple of weeks"

"Is there anything in particular that you feel the medical staff should be aware of?"

"Yes, the man with me is making me answer embarrassing questions, please erase his memory, steal his IPad for me in the process and change your questionnaires so they don't make me feel awkward." Lexi told him, in a way she wished she could erase his memory, her skull was pounding at it was worrying her, she wondered if he was this apathetic with his friend Penny.

"As amusing as that may be they only provide one line for the answer" he told her, giving himself a smile, maybe he did have a sense of humor she thought.

"The nurse told me you're next, unless someone comes in carrying their own head. She looked at Sheldon as she said it" Leonard told Lexi, laughing. He had been apologizing profusely to the angry looking member of the nursing staff.

"Ok Leonard, thanks, if you want I can get a cab home, you guys really don't have to stay because of me" she told them, hoping they would stay, she found Sheldons lack of empathy irritating but at the end of the day at least she wasn't alone.

"We can stay, don't worry about it, we don't want you to be on your own" Leonard replied, throwing Sheldon a look, he had lit up at the mention of leaving the germ infested hell they were in now.

"I can't help but wonder if you would have made that remark should she have been wearing this attire when performing" Sheldon suggested, Lexi looked down at her jeans and tank top under her long black net coat. She could see where he was coming from.

"Sheldon, Lexi is a lovely girl who needs our help, just because she looks sexy when doing that thing with the light saber has no basis here" Leonard told him, hoping to sound as convincing as he wanted to.

"If I didn't have this stupid job then none of this would have happened, Claire was right." Lexi said, wanting to cry.

She told the boys how Claire had warned her that something like this could happen, she was so going to hear about it when she gets back to the apartment.

"Why don't you stay with us until your heads clearer, the last thing you want right now is an obnoxious roommate who thinks they are always right" Leonard told her whilst looking at Sheldon.

"Would you mind? it wouldn't be imposing on you would I?" she asked, grateful for the offer.

"We would love to have you stay with us, I've always wanted a female roommate, someone with whom I can discuss fashion and where in a room furniture should be placed" Sheldon told her, earning a surprised look.

"Seriously?" she asked, she couldn't actually believe it.

"Bazinga." he replied.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter, Please review if you can :-D


	4. Chapter 4

Leonard had dropped off Raj and Howard, parked the car outside the apartment building and they headed upstairs to 4a.

Lexi was tired from the ER adventure, the Doctor told her she had a concussion and to take it easy for a few days. He sent her home when he was convinced the guys were mature enough to keep an eye on her.

"Are you sure you don't mind guys? Claire will berate me but she can still keep an eye on me and make sure I don't end up in a coma" Lexi told them, feeling embarrassed. She had moved here to gain some independence, not to be looked after.

"We aren't looking after you, were watching over you, there is a difference." Leonard told her, he kind of felt sorry for the young woman, of coarse he was attracted to her but he had Penny, he also liked the way she handled Sheldon, he could use a vacation.

"Yes, the main difference being that we are ensuring you don't come to any harm, we aren't here to cater to your every need." Sheldon reasoned. He was tired, they still had to sort out sleeping arrangements.

"It's ok, you aren't my servants, I'll be fine after a nights sleep" Lexi told them as the headed inside. She looked around, wishing her apartment was this cool.

"Come on in, make yourself at home." Leonard said, holding the door for Lexi and Sheldon.

Lexi marveled at the rubix cube tissue dispensers, the star wars Lego death star in the corner, the tridimensional chess set and the numerous action figures and collectibles everywhere.

Lexi thought she was a geek but obviously she was very low in the scale of Nerdolution.

"Wow, you guys! these are so cool!" she told them, Leonard looked at Sheldon, puzzled. Sheldon in return looked smug, as if he had always known he was right about what was constituted as 'cool'

"Erm, thanks, we need to arrange where people are going to sleep, how about you take Sheldons room?" Leonard joked, Lexi didn't understand.

"Oh no, not a Snowball's chance in a CAT scanner" He told her, walking to his room.

"He doesn't allow anyone in his room, ever, you can sleep in my bed, it's just through there, I can stay across the hall." he explained.

"Oh, thank you so much, I really will pay you back I promise." She said gratefully, heading in direction he had pointed.

Lexi looked at the alarm clock next to her, it was four am, her painkillers the Doctor had given her had worn off and her head felt like it was going to explode.

She knew now why Neanderthals had smashed holes into their skulls whilst they were still alive, she wanted to do the same right now just to relieve the pressure.

Knock, knock, knock, "Lexi", Knock, knock, knock, "Lexi", Knock, knock, knock, "Lexi" she heard against the bedroom door, it sounded a thousand times louder than what it probably was.

"Hello? Sheldon is that you?" she asked, she didn't know for sure but she made an educated guess.

Sheldon entered the room holding some painkillers and a glass of water.

"Your drugs should be out of your system by now thus causing you pain, take these to relieve it, goodnight" he said, handing her the items in his hands and starting to walk out the door.

"Hey, thanks." she called after him, a little hurt by his lack of empathy, Lexi reasoned with herself, it was really early, he was probably more tired than she was and at the end of the day, he had brought them to her, he hadn't expected her to suffer.

She took the pills and tried to get some more sleep.

Lexi awoke to the smell of pancakes, she walked through to the kitchen and saw the chef was Leonard, he had a pretty blonde helping him.

"Hi, my names Penny, Leonard told me about last night, are you ok?" she asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks to your boyfriend and his pal." she replied, starting to wash up.

"The doctor told you to take it easy, go sit down." Leonard scolded her, as if she five years old.

"Nah, I'm fine, really, Sheldon brought me some pills a little while ago, they seem to still be doing the job" she told him, earning from both he and Penny a surprised look.

"Sheldon actually did something nice?" Penny exclaimed, Lexi took from this that his behavior was out of character for Sheldon Cooper.

"Yeah, his demeanor was brisk but his intentions were sweet" Lexi reasoned.

"Thats not like Sheldon, he expects everyone to cater to his every need when he is sick but when it comes to others he couldnt give a rats ass." Penny explained.

"Thats not true, when you were ill I sang Soft kitty too you" said Sheldon, walking in the room. he had heard the chatter coming through and decided to investigate. He had felt rather hurt by Pennys statement.

"Yeah but very reluctantly!" Penny objected.

"I could hear Lexi whimpering and deduced that she was in pain, I gave the doctor my word that I would assist her and therefore have fulfilled my obligations.

I might add that it was actually a pleasant encounter, the last time I heard whimpers from your room and decided to intervene I was granted a backstage pass to open mating season" he directed at his roommate.

"Anyway, thank you Sheldon, I really appreciate you coming to my rescue" Lexi said, hoping he felt he had accomplished his goal.

"Your welcome, I got worried about you at around three, you were a bit shaky" he told her, she was surprised, as were the others, he had been to see her more than the one encounter they had known about.

"You came in twice?" she asked,

"I came in every hour, someone needed to make sure you were still alive." Sheldon informed her.

"Oh, thanks, thats very sweet of you" Lexi said.

Penny and Leonard took their breakfast across the hall, no doubt to take it to bed, leaving Sheldon and Lexi alone in the apartment.

Lexi turned on the news to find out what was happening in the world while Sheldon wrote a paper on his laptop at his desk.


	5. Chapter 5

"What are you writing?" Lexi asked, causing Sheldon to sigh and look away from the screen in front of him.

"I'm doing a paper on grand unified theory, it's very complicated for those who have no grasp of particle physics, you and Howard for example, but in laymans terms I am introducing interactions, different fields and additional dimensions in the universe." He explained, turning back to his typing.

"I had to take a science class whilst doing my PhD in English, I think they just wanted to make us more worldly aware in various subjects. The lecturer hated me." she told him, she had done ok in the class but it just bored her, she couldn't help having little interest in the subject.

"Perhaps if you had paid more attention and taken on the information you would have understood it and the lecturer would have appreciated your attendance" he replied.

"I was more into the studies I was taking I guess, I love the classics, Jane Austin's my favorite author, I bet that sounds really typical doesn't it." she said,

"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid." Sheldon quoted from Northanger Abbey, One of Lexi's most admired writings.

"Am I to assume that you too like Austen?." Lexi asked, it was one thing to quote someone but it is another to agree with what they were saying.

"As a child I read Jane Austen at my Meemaws house, she wanted my to be like Mr Darcy, I remember telling her I wanted to be a famous Physicist, she told me ' It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.' from Pride and Prejudice, it was her way of telling me that I can do whatever I want, just don't forget to marry one day." he explained.

He had never told anyone that before, his conversations with his grandmother were always strictly private.

"So what got you into science?" she asked, drinking her tea.

"My brother George" Sheldon answered, Lexi was beginning to see that if she asked Sheldon a question, he would answer it, and rarely go into detail.

In fact she was sure that if she asked Sheldon if he knew what the time was, he would look at his watch and say 'yes'

"Ok, how did your brother get you into science?" she asked again.

"He was a lot bigger than me, he and my sister would get on my nerves so I started to find ways to beat them with my mind, I built a death ray to attempt to stop them invading my privacy, I was also very angry at the government and wanted revenge" he explained.

"Did it work?" she asked, for all she knew it could have but he just never got a chance to use it. The thought worried her that it had the potential to be under his bed right now.

"It emitted a very small amount of electromagnetic radiation at a supersonic speed, it didn't fulfill it's intended need but what do you expect from a child aged just thirteen?" he answered, remembering the look on his parents face when they stumbled on the piece of equipment.

Lexi couldn't help but be both impressed and amused, laughing she asked "so how did you keep them out of your room?"

"Oh, I told my mum and she took care of it" he told her, still typing on his laptop.

Lexi wandered into the kitchen to make another drink, she poured a tea for Sheldon too, it was the least she could do for him.

Sheldon could feel Lexi behind him, she placed the beverage on his desk and leaned in to see what he was writing, he had been typing mainly gibberish since they had started speaking but he hoped that her lack of scientific knowledge would stop her from noticing.

He looked across and saw her kneeling next to his chair, from where he was sitting he could see her bright Green eyes reading his words intensely, her arms were leaning on the precipice of his desk, supporting her weight.

She was still wearing her skimpy tank top, it showed off her body nicely as it clung to he skin, showing off her 'assets' as he liked to refer to them.

Her skin was still pale, he thought maybe it was natural for her, he was always rather pasty, maybe it was a common color for skin to be.

He leaned down, taking his tea from her other side and gently touched her back as he did, she made no move, no flinch, and he was glad she didn't slap him.

He looked down behind her and saw her hindquarters, he had to admit, they were perfect. Leonard had once referred to him as an ass man, it was one of the few occasions his roommate had been correct.

When he returned his gaze to her face he noticed she had caught him, Sheldons once pale face was now red with embarrassment, he never looked at women in such a way until now, the one time he had and he had been caught.

Lexi was curious, he didn't seem to be the type of guy who would stare at her, she had seen him looking at her the previous night but had put that down to her attire, now was different, they were in the same area, he was so close she could hear his breathing increase, her arm was next to his and she could feel his pulse beating rapidly through his slim arms.

Lexi smiled at him, he was human after all, she felt relieved.

Sheldons body and brain separated, he had accomplished something many many scientists had dreamed of, they were not speaking, Sheldons brain was telling him to thank her for the beverage, stand up and walk away.

His body however disobeyed every rule Sheldon had set it from puberty, he leaned his head down to her level and kissed her on the lips.

It wasn't a deep kiss, it was at most a peck from Lexi's point of view, but to Sheldon it was the most he could handle. when his lips touched hers his body and mind started to converse again, his body did as it was told, he thanked her for the tea, he stood up, and he walked out of the room.

Lexi was perplexed, flabbergasted even. she walked over to flat 4b where she knew Leonard and Penny would be. Knocking on the door she didn't even know what she was going to say, she needed answers.

Penny opened the door, Lexi could see Leonard in the kitchen area making a sandwich.

"Hi, is everything ok?" Penny asked.

"Sheldon just kissed me." Lexi told them, Leonard had heard and dropped the mayonnaise onto the floor, Lexi assumed she wasn't the only one shocked.

"He kissed you?" Penny clarified, she needed to to sure she had heard correctly.

"Yeah, he kissed me on the lips, does it say he can do that in his manual?" Lexi joked.

"He is supposedly a man and therefore one can assume he has the potential ability to become loving in a certain way, I just thought he would have the decency to wait for the world to be ready for it" Leonard told her from the kitchen, cleaning up the mess with the paper towels Penny had handed to him.

"So he doesn't just kiss random people then?" Lexi asked.

"No, it is really unlike him. I'll go have a chat with the guy, where is he, has he said anything?" Leonard asked, worried.

"He thanked me for the tea I made his and he walked to his room." Lexi explained.

"What was he doing before he kissed you?" Leonard asked.

"It's kinda embarrassing but he was checking out my ass." Lexi told him, her face went red. She was an erotic dancer but the idea of Sheldon looking at her in that way still made her feel perplexed.

"Ok, don't worry about it, I'm sure he just fancies you. I'll go chat with him, make sure he's ok." Leonard told the girls as he crossed over the hallway to 4a.

Leonard went into his apartment, he walked to Sheldon room and knocked on his roommates door.

"Sheldon, it's leonard, can I come in?" he asked.

Sheldon got out of his fetal position on the bed and walked to the door, he opened it and saw his friend standing there, looking concerned.

"Hello" Sheldon said, his head low, hiding his shame.

"Sheldon what happened? Lexi is over at Penny's now, can we chat?" Leonard asked.

They walked into the lounge area, Sheldon sat in his spot, holding his still warm tea whilst Leonard made one of his own before joining his buddie.

"What happened?" Leonard asked him, trying to force eye contact.

"Lexi was reading what I had written on grand unified theory, you wouldn't understand, but then I looked at her face, then her bosom and then her hindquarters, specifically the cleftal horizon area, I kissed her, then I came to my senses, realised that I never obtained her consent, thanked her for the tea and left." Sheldon explained. He felt so awful.

Leonard was Laughing. "So she caught you staring and you kissed her?" he asked.

"I don't understand what part of my suffering you find amusing." Sheldon stated simply.

"Sheldon these things happen, Lexi isn't upset you kissed her, she was upset by how you handled everything afterwards. You don't just kiss and leave she isn't a drive through."Leonard explained. Sheldon felt slightly better now, knowing it wasn't the kiss that had been the problem.

"I know she isn't a drive through! what a rediculous assumption. I left because I thought I am no better than the idiots that go to watch her perform. I couldn't help myself!" he explained.

"Look, i'm going back to Penny's, Lexi will probebly come back here, just talk to her. this could be the start of a relationship but if your body wants to do that kind of stuff then maybe you should go for it.

Just give me warning so I can send some warning emails out." Leonard told him, walking out the door.

Sheldon remained in his seat, Lexi joined him a few minutes later, Leonard had obviously spoken to her about the conversation he and Sheldon had just had.

"Hey hun, you ok?" she asked, sitting on the couch next to him.

Sheldon felt her warmth emulating from her just inches away from him. He lifted his head for the first time since he had gone to his room, Sheldon looked at her face, he eyes were wide, she was waiting for an explanation.

"I am fine. I apologise if I offended you earlier, scientifically speaking what I did was due to my testosterone levels increasing." he explained.

"Did you mean I turned you on?" she couldnt help but ask.

"Yes" he replied, looking at her.

Lexi leaned in and Kissed the man sitting next to her, Sheldon sat there in shock, this was much more than what he had done, this kiss was deep and caressing, her hands on his face as she leaned in and sat astride him.

Sheldon didn't know what to do, he had two hands and nowhere to put them. He reasoned, if he put them on her hips he can control her movements without being to forceful.

He placed them on her, by doing this it drew her closer to him, she was now directly above his newly formed erection, causing Sheldon to panic, Lexi however seemed to not be concerned at all.

I hope you enjoyed, please review, I would really appreciate it!


	6. Chapter 6

Sheldon looked at the woman sitting on top of him, he didn't know what to do, she was experienced in his opinion, or at least she wasn't shy.

Sheldon pulled away, he could see her well now. She was so beautiful. Her long red hair fell around her face, the black streaks gleamed in the midday sunlight.

"Are we dating?" he asked her. Sheldon wasn't sure of the situation, they hadn't been on a date so was it still termed 'dating'?

"I don't sit on people with my tongue in their mouth for no reason" she told him.

Sheldon took that as a 'yes'. She had a valid argument.

"I don't feel comfortable dating someone who does erotic things with light sabers to please other men." he argued. Sheldon lived on his own terms, Lexi found this admirable about him.

"If I quit my job, I have no money, if I have no money, I can't live. I hate this but Claire is right, money makes the world go round" she reasoned, hoping to persuade him that she needed to work.

"You could live here until you get a different job" he offered. Sheldon moved her off of his lap and made his way to his desk. Lexi took her spot next to him at the 'scene of the crime'.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm going to find you a different occupation. I want to move back to the couch with you but I feel it's unorthodox under these circumstances." he argued.

Lexi could see his argument. She both loved and hated her job, but she could always find other employment.

She looked at Sheldons face full of determination, She recollected him back at the club, he was the only one not watching.

Something told Lexi that although jobs come and go, guys like Sheldon came around once in a lifetime.

Lexi looked at the jobs on the screen, she saw her chance to have a bit of fun.

"Teacher of philosophy, hey I could totally do that! just tell the kids to sit and think in this position." she said, sitting in the same position as the Thinker sculpture by Auguste Rodin

Sheldon found this rather amusing. seeing her sitting there believing that to be what philosophy students do all day, although she did have a point.

"no" he told her.

"Ok, how about this one. Bus driver. I don't have a license though" she said.

"wont that hinder your capabilities of being able to drive the bus?" he asked.

"nah, we just wont tell them" she told him mischievously.

"No" Sheldon said, he had a feeling this could last a while but he was enjoying himself.

"ooh, a Doctor, I can see myself in a white coat, I can go up to people, ask 'where does it hurt?' and poke and jab them in that area." she said, imitating the poking movement using a pencil off the desk.

"So you will be able to examine patients but not perform diagnostics?" Sheldon reasoned, smiling at her actions with the pencil.

"Ok, what else? oh, mechanic, all they do is look at something and tut loads of times. thats definitely a job for me." she said, looking at the other job listings and tutting whenever Sheldons pointer landed on one.

"What on earth made you do your doctorate in English anyway?" Sheldon asked.

"I thought it would give me more flexibility in the job market, employers could see that I'm dedicated enough to study for a PhD and English covers most departments" she argued, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

"Oh, theres one here for a Library support associate at Caltech, you fit all the criteria, it says 'This position involves walking, standing, twisting, squatting, bending, reaching, and lifting', I saw you on that pole, I'm sure you can manage this. I'll call Mrs Riches, the old gal owes me a favor, maybe she can get you an interview soon." Sheldon told her, getting his phone out of his pocket.

Leonard and Penny came in and looked at the scene in front of them,

"Whats going on?" Leonard asked.

"Sheldon wont date me until I give up my job so he is getting me a new one at the university, He is calling Mrs Riches." she explained.

"The librarian? you're going to work in the library?" he asked, it sounded like a good opportunity for her.

"Well it depends how persuasive Sheldon is." she joked, looking at Sheldons face as he spoke on the phone. Lexi put the kettle on the stove to make some drinks for them all.

"What if you don't get it?" asked Penny, joining her in the kitchen.

"I can apply to be a philosophy teacher, a bus driver or my own personal favorite, a mechanic, if all else fails I can fall back on being a Doctor." She replied, smiling. Penny laughed at her enthusiasm.

Sheldon hung up the phone. He joined his friends and took his drink with gratitude, He raised his mug and announced,

"To the new Library Support associate of Caltech university, you start Monday."

"How the hell did you manage that?"Lexi asked perplexed.

"Mrs Riches had a situation a couple of years ago where she accidentally deleted the entire libraries online catalog, Luckily I was around and restored it, she said that she owed me a favor so I called it in" He explained.

After they congratulated Lexi, Leonard got his coat and took Penny out for dinner.

"Would you like anything to eat?" Sheldon asked Lexi.

"I think the least I can do is buy you dinner" she told him, getting her coat whilst Sheldon called a cab.

"Where do you want to eat?" Lexi asked.

"I normally eat Pizza at Giacomo's on Thursdays, but as it is the third Thursday of the month it is anything can happen Thursday." he told her.

"Ok, so it's pizza then see what happens." Lexi agreed giving Sheldon a small wink as they headed downstairs and got in the cab."Can we stop at Belle's Femmes on the way to Giacomo's please?" Lexi asked the driver who nodded.

"Why do we need to go there?" Sheldon asked, hoping never to have to step foot in that establishment ever again.

"I need to pick up my wages and quit" She explained, causing Sheldon to feel more at ease.

They pulled up outside the club and Lexi went in, She returned a few minutes later with a large envelope and a smile on her face.

"I told Belle that I am quitting because a knight in shining armour is rescuing me, she is really pleased." She told him, putting the envelope in her satchel.

They went to Giacomo's and ordered their Pizza's, Sheldon ordered his usual with Sausage, mushrooms and light olives. Lexi ordered a margarita with pineapple.

"Why the pineapple?" Sheldon asked.

"I am determined to get my five items of fruit and veg a year." she replied.

"You mean a day right?" he responded.

"Nope." Lexi told him, smiling. She knew what she meant.

They ate there dinner and discussed the recent events, Sheldon explained the day to day life of a Caltech employee, Lexi thought it sounded magnificent. She was going to put her education to good use and work somewhere meaningful.

"This is officially our first date." Sheldon announced, sounding happy about the situation.

"And I was hoping you would count last night when our eyes met over a man having a heart attack whilst you asked me if I was pregnant or suffering from different disorders." she said, sounding happy but disappointed.

Sheldon and Lexi climbed the many stairs up to apartment 4A. Sheldon unlocked his door, it was a good sign that Leonard was not yet home, he had some more time on his own with Lexi.

When they walked in Sheldon took his keys and placed them in the bowl next to the door, When he turned Lexi was standing there, she leaned in and pinned him against the wall, her hands in his hair, her lips on his.

Sheldons hands moved to her back, he stroked her gently, partly enjoying the arousal but partly hating not being in control. Lexi had full control over him and the situation.

Sheldon moved his hands back to her hips, he had enjoyed them being there earlier and wanted them to carry on where they left off, but Lexi had other plans.

She took his hands and continued to kiss him as they moved in the direction of Sheldons bedroom.


	7. Chapter 7

Lexi had Sheldons hands as she walked backwards, leading him into his own bedroom, he had to be shown what to do, She knew that he know what to do with himself.

She took him to the bed and turned them both around, Lexi gently put pressure on his shoulders, forcing him into a sitting position.

Sheldon didn't know what was happening, all he could think was that she was in his room, people weren't allowed in his room, yet here she was, forcing him onto his bed in a gentle manner.

Fear welled up inside of him, he had seen movies with erotic scenes in it, he had heard his friends discussing sex, they had even bought him a book about the subject, though the thought of being so close to someone terrified him.

Never having first hand experience on the matter, Sheldon could only look at it in a certain way. His views were all it could lead to was pregnancy, getting sticky and diseases.

Since being taught about sex at school he had been very hesitant about actually participating in it.

Lexi's lips left his, Sheldon grabbed the opportunity to breathe before speaking.

"one question, are we about to engage in coitus?" he asked, scared of what the answer would be.

"that depends on you, is that what you want?" Lexi replied.

"What I want is irrelevant, I can only make an educated guess, the evidence being that your on top of me and in my room, I'm unsure of the correct procedure here" he told her, he didn't know if he wanted to have sex, it was something other people did, not him.

"the correct procedure would be that two consenting adults have sexual intercourse, If you don't want to then just say stop, I'm not going to force you into anything" Lexi reassured him, smiling.

Sheldon looked at her, he thought back to other opportunities where he could have had sex, he couldn't think of any, the closest he had come to was with Leonards mother who kissed him before saying that she preferred some bus boy she and Penny had met earlier that evening. Truth be told he had never had the chance to have sex until now.

"But I don't know what I want" Sheldon admitted, he had never been unsure of anything, he always had a plan. Until now.

"Ok" Lexi said, leaning forward and carried on kissing him, if she wasn't going to have sex tonight she could at least have a make out session. She was going to have to take things slowly.

holding Sheldons arms on the bed, she noticed him struggling slightly, she took note and released him from her grip. His hands stayed in the same place, they were now resting while Lexi carried on.

Lexi took Sheldon by the waist, she had an idea. Before he could think about what was happening she rolled them over, putting Sheldon on her. Lexi wanted to see what would happen, maybe if he had complete control over situation he would be more comfortable.

Sheldon instantly knew what he wanted, he wanted this. Sheldon placed his hands on her stomach, he was enjoying this, he could take in air when he wanted, he and Lexi had to play by his rules now.

Lexi removed her tank top, giving Sheldon more of a view. He couldn't help but stare. Maybe he was also a breast man, he thought.

Lexi moved her hands under his tops, forcing them up and over his head. Sheldon obliged. Lexi really did have to initiate this, he was happy with that as long as he had the ability to walk away if he wanted to.

He had to make some kind of move to let her know he was curious about the next step. He thought back to what he had seen on TV, the one that stuck in his head was a scene from scrubs when JD removed Elliots trousers, Sheldon decided to imitate there actions.

As he undid the button to Lexi's jeans she let out a sigh, she was relieved that he wanted to carry on. He slid them down enough for her to kick them off completely.

Lexi's hands did the same to Sheldon's plaid pants, leaving him in just his y fronts.

Sheldon moved his lips back to Lexi's and they continued to kiss, Lexi started moving her hips, causing Sheldons body to react, She could feel him over her.

Lexi took down her own underwear, she was too nervous about removing his, Sheldon realized what she was doing and moved his head so he could look at her.

"Do you have any form of contraception?" he asked, hoping that she would take his hint and realize that he wanted to try and do what his friends bragged so much about doing.

"I think I have a condom in my bag" she told him, getting up and wrapping herself in his dressing gown so she could leave the room. Lexi returned a few minutes later with the protection.

Lexi moved back to the bed, she felt like she was eighteen again, in her dorm with a cute guy, this time it was awkward, it wasn't like this in the movies, on TV it doesn't show the actors not knowing where to look as the man exposed himself and put the condom on, Sheldon had never done it before so he was being very careful, when she saw how nervous he was as his hands were shaking she decided to step in, she had helped in the past so she knew what she was doing.

Sheldon had removed his briefs and Lexi looked at him in all his glory, this guy could have any woman he wanted she thought, there was a brief moment where she didn't know if it would fit him, at last she finished and laid back on the bed, Sheldon took his place over her and kissed her again.

'it's now or never' his brain told him, Lexi opened her legs allowing him entry, and he entered her in one movement.

Sheldon felt her warmth cover him completely, it was like a pleasant fire had taken hold, her walls surrounded him as he entered her, caressing him in ways he had never felt before.

Sheldon didn't dare move, he was too scared to, Lexi had moaned at him movement, he was overwhelmed with pleasure like no other but didn't know how she felt, for all he knew she was in pain.

Lexi gasped as he went deeper, she let out a 'yesss', hoping for more, when Sheldon realized that she was content he continued, the deeper he went, the more pleasure they both felt.

When he couldn't go anymore he moved his hips back, he felt extremely cold in comparison and plunged back into her depths, causing Lexi to cry out in pleasure.

This wasn't right he thought, his friends had never described anything like this, they had talked for sure but he wasn't convinced that they had felt anything like this, although it would explain why they were constantly looking and hoping women would allow them to partake in this kind of interaction.

"Is this normal?" he asked, scared that he wasn't doing it right. "Yes, sweetheart, this is perfect" she replied, opening her eyes and seeing how white he had gotten, he looked so worried, Lexi moved them around again, sitting on top of him but not putting on any pressure.

"Are you ok?" she asked, thinking maybe he wasn't well.

"I'm fine, just not used to this" he reassured her.

"Do you want to stop?" she asked.

"No, just give me a minute" he asked, composing himself. He had been through so much tonight, it was so abnormal for him to even kiss a girl, let alone full coitus.

Sheldon let out a small sigh, he always considered himself to thinking he was above all others, he didn't need human interaction in order to feel fulfilled.

The truth was that he was no better than everyone else, he was enjoying this, he couldn't help but worry about germs and contamination, his brain couldn't stop worrying about these things, but regardless of everything, he enjoyed the feelings Lexi was opening him up to.

Lexi started to move on Sheldon, causing him to pull faces of pleasure and delight.

She moved on him over and over again, Sheldon felt like he was going to explode, Lexi started to orgasm, her walls spasmed around him, it was too much for Sheldon to bear, complete ecstasy overtook him as he shuddered and convulsed under her.

Lexi moved over and laid next to him, taking his hand, Sheldon saw what she was doing and raised their joined limbs and kissed her, he laid his head on the pillow, not knowing what the protocol for the next step.

Lexi removed the condom, causing Sheldon to move his hips involuntarily, he was still extremely sensitive in that region. She took the item and placed it in the bin beside them, She pulled the blanket up from the bottom of the bed and covered them both over, her head rested on his chest as she fell asleep.

Sheldon laid awake for a while, thinking over what he had just experienced.

I hope you enjoyed, Please review, all comments or thoughts are very welcome and appreciated!


	8. Chapter 8

Sheldon awoke the next morning, he was hot and sticky from the previous night.

He looked over at the woman next to him, he was embarrassed to be naked in her company, he pulled the sheets over his chest up to his neck, he couldn't risk her seeing him.

She stirred a little, Sheldon could see that she was still fast asleep, it was just natural movement.

Sheldon picked up his dressing gown next to the bed and put it on before removing the covers.

He got out, opened the door and went to the bathroom, he washed his feet and stepped into the shower.

The water was hot against his skin, he washed his hair and body with his lynx shower gel, he found it amusing as it was bright yellow and looked radioactive.

The smell was pleasant too.

When he had finished he dried himself off and returned to his room, he adorned his usual attire, a long sleeved top, the sleeves pulled up to his elbows, his favorite Flash t shirt and plaid pants. He got a pair of purple and black socks out of the cubby.

Lexi turned in the bed, waking up in the process. She saw Sheldon standing there fully dressed, he just stared at her, too nervous to speak.

"Morning hun" she said, getting out of bed and putting her top on.

"I need different clothes" she realized, she had worn the same things since leaving the club, she had washed them the previous day before the kiss incident but she still wished she had something else.

"Can I borrow some underwear?" she asked Sheldon.

"Borrow my underwear, why?" he replied, shocked at her question and the thought that she wanted to wear his clothes.

"Yeah, we are the same size, I will wash them." she clarified.

"it's ok, you can keep them" he told her, handing her his item of clothing.

"Thanks" she said, taking them and putting them on, she put her jeans on and went to the kitchen.

Penny and Leonard were sitting in the lounge, drinking coffee and arguing about what they were going to do that day.

Howard, Bernadette and Raj arrived, discussing going to Raging waters in San Dimas.

"It sounds like fun" Penny said, looking at Leonard, he wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons with the guys.

Lexi made herself some coffee and a tea for Sheldon who had followed her through.

Bernadette saw Lexi and introduced herself.

"Hi, I'm Bernadette, I'm engaged to Howard." she said. Lexi looked at the womans fiance and realized that he didn't want her to know the real reason that they met.

"Oh, wow, congratulations" she replied, genuinely happy for the couple.

"So, how did you meet Howie and the guys?" Bernadette asked.

"Erm, I was hit on the head with a bottle outside the club I worked at and they took me to the emergency room." Lexi replied, she wasn't lying.

Leonard saw how uncomfortable Lexi looked, he hated the idea that she couldn't explain fully just to save them.

"She worked in the club we dragged Howard to for his bachelor party." Leonard explained. Lexi smiled at him, thankful for his input. Lexi explained about how Sheldon had found her a new job at the university.

"Oh Sheldon thats so sweet of you" Bernadette told her, Howard was confused, Sheldon didn't do nice things for people, especially strippers, he was curious as to why he should start now but Sheldon already explained.

"I find it morally wrong to go steady with someone who works in a club." He told the group.

They knew Sheldon and so were aware of this being news, he didn't date, he was asexual as far as they were concerned. Leonard smiled, he and Penny knew that the two were becoming very close, however they didn't know just how close they had gotten last night.

Howard invited them all to join him, Bernadette and Raj at Raging waters, Penny and Lexi loved the idea, Sheldon and Leonard exchanged glances, they needed a bit more convincing.

"You get to see me in a bathing suit" Penny told Leonard, that was all he needed to hear.

Lexi thought it would take a bit more for Sheldon to agree.

"You can have some fun, you don't have to get in the water" she told him, he agreed but Lexi packed his swimming shorts just in case.

Penny offered to lend Lexi a change of clothes and a new bathing suit she bought unnecessarily. She leant her a blue top with a low cut and some black shorts.

Leonard drove Penny, Sheldon and Lexi in his car and Bernadette drove Howard and Raj the 21 miles to San Dimas.

On the way Penny asked Lexi what they had got up to last night, Sheldon went pale, he couldn't stand the idea of his friends knowing, they would only make fun.

"We watched star wars and I fell asleep." She lied, Sheldon felt relieved.

When they arrived Sheldon waited for the group to get changed, Lexi was the first to emerge, he couldn't help but stare, she was wearing a small purple bikini, her skin was pale but smooth, she was holding the bag of clothes Penny had leant her.

"You ok?" Lexi asked, smiling at the look on his face.

"I am very well thank you, yourself?" he asked.

"I'm cool, the girls are coming out soon, Penny is playing with her hair" she explained, putting her bag in a locker and tying the key around her ankle.

Soon the group reconvened and they headed to the slides, Sheldon sat in the deck chair and watched his friends enjoy gravity mixed with hydrogen and oxygen.

They were laughing and screaming, Lexi shouted the whole way down.

Raj was hesitating at the top for a few moments then Howard pushed him down.

Howard and Bernadette went down together, as did Leonard and Penny. Sheldon noticed them laughing and saw Lexi, he felt a pang of guilt that he was the reason she wasn't laughing as there friends were.

Lexi went down the highest slide and swam up to where Sheldon was and got out of the pool.

"Hey, enjoying the sun?" she asked.

"Yes, very much so, theres nothing like a ball of hot plasma crossed with a few magnetic fields to brighten my day." he joked, watching Lexi smile at his comments.

"Do you wanna join us?" She asked.

"I would but I can't, I don't have my bathing suit" he told her disappointed. Lexi explained that she had brought it with them as she reached down and took the key off from around her ankle, handing it to Sheldon.

He went and got changed, returning five minutes later in his shorts, they were green and black with the Green Lantern symbol on the front left hand side.

Leonard pointed him out to the rest of the group, they had climbed to the highest slide again and were awaiting there turn.

They couldn't believe it, he was acting so strangely, he started to climb the steps, he looked over the rail and he grabbed hold of it with both hands, Lexi saw him and went to find out if he was ok.

"I don't like the idea of falling" he explained to her, grateful for the fact she didn't laugh at him.

"Ok, here, I can hold your hand if you want." she said, taking his left hand in hers and started to walk, he followed slowly.

"Just don't look down" she told him. Sheldon had no problem with that, he was positioned right behind her and enjoyed the view.

As they reached the top his friends welcomed him, Raj whispered something to Howard, making him laugh.

"Whats so funny?" Penny asked, looking at Bernadette, maybe she had overheard what was said.

"Raj says he was looking forward to going down with Lexi but now he has competition." Howard explained. Sheldon held Lexi's hand tighter at this comment.

Penny and Leonard went down first, bringing Bernadette down with them by accident.

"There you go Raj, you can now go down with Howard." Sheldon told him, smiling.

Howard and Raj looked thoroughly unhappy going down the slide together, joining their friends at the bottom.

They gathered together and saw Lexi sit down at the top of the slide, Sheldon sat behind her, he was nervous so he placed his hands around her, to others they would look like a loving couple, to his friends they must have known the truth.

Lexi started shifting slightly with the water, after a moment they were wet enough to go, they slid down the seven-story drop at nearly 40 miles an hour, it was exhilarating, Sheldon and Lexi screamed the whole way down, yet, as it had been last night, the experience was both terrifying and wonderful.

They joined their friends who started patting Sheldon on the back, impressed with what he had just done.

"Lets go again" he told Lexi, taking her hand and running back up the steps.

After several rides and slides later they reconvened for a bite to eat. They grabbed some hot dogs and sat in the shade while they ate. The girls, Howard and Raj finished first and went to ride Neptune's Fury, leaving Leonard and Sheldon alone.

"So what did you and Lexi really get up to last night?" He asked.

"As Lexi told you, we watched Star Wars and fell asleep." Sheldon lied. He hated doing it but couldn't gage his friends reaction if he told him the truth.

"No you didn't, I leant our Star Wars DVD to Professor Eclestone last thursday.#2 Leonard explained, Sheldon had been caught out.

"You leant Star Wars to Professor Eclestone?" Sheldon exclaimed, it was partly his after all.

"Yes I did, what happened last night?" Leonard said smugly, he had finally gotten one over on his intelligent roommate.

"Ok, Lexi and I engaged in Coitus if you must know, please don't tell the others." Sheldon pleaded.

"Wow, I guess you are full of surprises, how was it?" he asked, drinking his cola.

"It was pleasurable, more so than what I had ever thought it would be." Sheldon explained, he didn't want to go into any detail.

"I do have a question though, is it normal to feel happier about being in control?" Sheldon asked in a curious manner.

"Erm, ok, kinda, it depends, sometimes it's good to decide what happens and in other times its better for them to take over, you just work it out somehow." Leonard explained. He had hoped that buying him that book would save him from this kind of conversation, obviously he was wrong.

"Thats good advice, thank you. it must feel so nice for you to know you have the upper hand over me, savor it, you and I both know it wont come around again." Sheldon said simply with no harm intended as they headed over to the ride there friends were queuing for.

After several more hours of water rapids the group were in the wave pool playing with the beach ball that Bernadette had brought along.

Sheldon was explaining to Lexi the different types of wave when Penny threw the ball there way, Lexi caught it and went over to play.

"Let me sit on your shoulders" she said to Sheldon, he hesitated at first but finally agreed, he ducked down so she could wrap her legs around his neck as he came up.

The game lasted for around ten minutes before they grew tired and decided to head home.

In the car the girls slept in the back while Leonard chatted softly to Sheldon.

"So are you going to watch Star Wars tonight?" Leonard asked in a mischievous tone, hoping his friend would understand the double entendre that he had made.

"Maybe, it depends." Sheldon said, looking at his girlfriend in the back seat.

"Depends on what, do you need anything?" Leonard asked, making a reference to contraception.

"Well the DVD for a start, can we stop by Professor Eclestones house?" Sheldon asked, he was totally oblivious to what Leonard was referring to.


	9. Chapter 9

Authors note, I am playing with all the characters today, I really hope you enjoy, please Review :-)

Lexi awoke in the bed she and Sheldon had been sharing for the last fortnight, Howard and Bernadette were getting married tomorrow, tonight would undoubtedly be filled with last minute details.

Bernadette knew Lexi had worked in a club and ergo believed she had experience in catering for many people. Truth was that she did but not in the way the Bride was picturing.

Lexi had been working at the university for the last week or so, it had been difficult at first but she was getting the hang of things. She enjoyed meeting the guys at lunchtime in the canteen, it was a regular occurrence, they would chat about how there day was going and planned the evening ahead.

What Lexi loved most was being able to see Sheldon in his natural environment. He became engrossed in his work and she felt so happy to see him writing his theories and equations on the board in his office.

He had taken to going to the Library more often, making excuses to take out books, saying they were for research.

It was strange according to Leonard, apparently he had only been to the library once before and that was the time he helped Lexi's boss after her computer conundrum.

Lexi looked over at her Boyfriend, she couldn't believe how lucky she had gotten, in a week she gained a group of friends, a new job and a lover who genuinely cared for her.

Sheldon was sound asleep, he looked so peaceful lying there, as if all of his idiosyncrasies and phobias weren't there, sleep probably gave his brain a chance to charge up and rejuvenate before the new day ahead.

Lexi tapped his chest gently, tap, tap, tap, "Sheldon", tap, tap, tap, "Sheldon", tap, tap, tap, "Sheldon"

"Hmm, What" he answered, Lexi had woken him up this way since she had seen him knocking on a door for the first time, when she did it this way he awoke in a good mood, 'three is his magic number' she thought.

"We have to get up sweetheart, time for work" she told him, getting out of bed and putting some clothes on, she had cleaned out her room at Claire's house a few days ago, her friend had been pleased for her but was sad to see her go.

Sheldon got up and dressed, she hadn't noticed but he enjoyed watching Lexi get dressed, the days when they were running late were the best, she would be in a hurry and would fall about the room very gracelessly. He would lay there pretending to be asleep but when she wasn't looking he couldn't stop himself from sneaking peaks.

When he went into the kitchen she had prepared him some cereal, she knew his routine so well, and a cup of tea. Lexi was on his laptop looking at the headlines whilst eating toast and drinking her coffee.

"Thank you for the breakfast, what are you reading?" he asked her, walking over to where she was sitting at his desk.

"Just making sure we aren't being invaded by the Scots or, you know, alien domination." she replied, smiling at him.

"Good morning Queen Apailana, B4D4." Leonard greeted them, they were so used to being named after people from Star Wars they no longer took any notice,

"Hey, Good morning" they chimed, putting on coats, shoes and grabbing bags, they headed off to work.

The trio arrived home at 5pm along with Howard and Raj, it had been a long day for Lexi, being a Friday all the students at the university wanted to take out different books and papers ready for a weekend of study, Lexi couldn't fathom it, when she was a student she partied most of the weekend and wrote something quickly on Sunday night, it made her feel for the kids, they didn't know what they were missing.

Bernadette and Penny came over shortly after 5.30, ready to finish the decorations and go through the order of service. Despite what their parents wanted, the happy couple had decided on a very strict service, God was only to be mentioned as a formality.

Howards mother had gone ballistic, her precious Jewish Son was breaking tradition, it cheered her up though knowing that Bernadettes parents wanted them to get married in a church under Catholic conditions, but instead they had settled on a lovely Hotel ceremony and reception.

"So, is the band fully paid up and sorted out?" Bernadette asked Leonard, he was in charge of the music,

"Check, it's all sorted, they are playing the songs you asked for and Howard they taught themselves the theme to Firefly" Leonard told them, he felt smug as he had completed his assignment.

"Sheldon have you completed the seating chart?" she asked him, Lexi had been looking forward to his presentation, he had 'borrowed' the touch screen from Caltech to use for the wedding, the guest just types in their name and it tell them where to sit, tonight though it gave Bernadette a clear indication of what the room would look like.

"Yes, as you can see I have been online and found photo's of various relatives, the ones who don't have an internet presence have been replaced by Mii characters.

This is what the room will look like, the guests with children will be seated here, at the very back of the room, away from anything flammable and where they wont annoy me.

Now, your family Howard will be seated here, as represented your mother has two places reserved for her and I am to understand the chairs can disperse her weight evenly so as to avoid any embarrassing mishaps, Bernadette, your family will be sitting here near the garden so as to take in the natural beauty they believe was created by a fictional omnipotent we all know to be false.

Raj, Penny, Leonard, Lexi and I shall be seated here, I have already chosen my seat, touch it or sit in it and I will make you pay. Any questions?" Sheldon told them, using a laser pen to indicate where on the chart to turn there attention too. It was all in massive detail, there were 3D videos of the room itself.

Sheldon was met by blank stares apart from Lexi who had helped him to design it and had therefore seen it before. Howard, Leonard, Raj and Penny sat in silence, they couldn't think of a problem until Bernadette spoke.

"Errm, Sheldon, where will Howie and I sit?"

Sheldon checked the diagrams, he typed there names in, yet, nothing.

"Oh Rats" he exclaimed, making some final alterations.

The group organised and arranged for the best part of three hours, Penny was the Maid of Honor and had collected the make up that morning before she had started her shift, Lexi had been asked to be a bridesmaid the day after they came home from Raging Waters. She had collected her bridesmaid dress the day before yesterday after work.

Everyone had their attire, it was all clean, well fitted and ironed. Raj had been in charge of Catering and had it all sorted out.

Lexi had fallen asleep at midnight, she had to get up early to help Bernadette who was staying over at Penny's apartment, Raj was staying with Howard and was under strict orders to get him to the ceremony and Penny was staying in Leonards room.

Sheldon saw how tired she was, he had enjoyed her snuggling up against him on the couch, the spot next to his was now permanently reserved for her, Whilst everyone was leaving and saying goodbyes, Sheldon scooped Lexi up and carried her to their bedroom, Leonard and Penny watched him go,

"Our little boy's all grown up and playing games his own age." Penny told him, sounding like a genuinely proud mother.

"Yeah but if he breaks her I'm not getting him another one" Leonard replied.


	10. Chapter 10

Sheldon carried Lexi through, he heard his friends comments but chose to ignore them, they didn't know how he felt. It had taken him so long to even entertain the idea of being physical in any way with another person, now he had finally accomplished what his friends had tried to convince him of, they mocked him.

He laid her down on the bed, they had been intimate only a couple of times, he enjoyed it but still hesitated, Lexi never pushed him, she would do acts that could have been her trying to initiate something, Sheldon thought back to them, kicking himself for not seeing them when they happened.

Now here she was, half asleep and helpless, Sheldon undid her cotton blouse and dark wash jeans, Lexi stirred, mumbling incoherently.

He stood back and admired her in her underwear, trying to decide whether or not to remove them. Sheldon allowed his body to take over, if he allowed his brain any more power then both he and Lexi would be doomed to a life of celibacy.

Sheldon removed all of his clothes and what remained of hers, he laid on top of her, and started to kiss her neck.

Lexi started to wake up, noticing what was going on, she could feel that she was nude, and that he was too, she reached her neck to it's full length to allow him more area to kiss, he was taking his time, going devastatingly slowly, prolonging the pleasure.

Sheldon looked up and saw her beautiful green eyes looking back at him, he moved up and took her lips with his, causing her to moan.

Lexi turned them both over, giving Sheldon a chance to relax, she thought he would need his strength later, she started trailing kisses down the side of his face, his neck, she moved so she could do the same over his bare chest, caressing him with her hands as she went down.

She reached his member and placed her lips over him, stroking his length with her hand. This caused Sheldons once closed eyes to shoot open as he sat up.

"What are you doing?" he asked, utterly terrified.

"Shhh, it's ok, I know what I'm doing." Lexi told him.

"You obviously do the problem is I don't" Sheldon reiterated, still unsure of what universe he had opened his eyes in.

"Are you dirty?" she asked, hoping to convince him.

"You know I'm not, I shower two, sometimes three times a day." he replied.

"So, I'm giving you whats normally referred to as a 'blowjob'" she explained. Sheldon reached over to his bedside cabinet, he pulled out the book his friends had bought him for his birthday two years ago, he looked up the word and began reading.

Lexi was sitting up, naked in bed with a man who was reading instead of allowing her to perform a sexual act on him, Lexi was the one now wondering what universe she had awoken too.

She wasn't going to allow him to finish reading the passage, he would want to analyze and discuss it all.

Lexi couldn't wait much longer and decided to go back down on Sheldon, he resisted, thinking she would wait for him to finish, her mouth felt so good, she couldn't take him all in but was doing things with her tongue he had never experienced, causing his hips to buck up and his legs to shiver.

He watched her head moving, she seemed to look like she was enjoying this, however unlikely he thought it could possibly be for her.

He felt himself harden, Lexi felt it too, after a few more moments she got up and kissed Sheldons lips, he could taste himself on her and it worried him, not because he knew what it was but because he liked it.

She had done it just for him and now he could savor the consequences. Sheldon put his hands on her hips and spun them both round again, he couldn't wait another second, the feeling of cold spread through his body as soon as her lips left him for his mouth.

Sheldon moved his hands to between her legs, spreading them apart.

He placed a condom over himself and In one swift movement he plunged deep into her depths, no hesitation, he felt her walls smother him, his groin was burning with desire as he moved, he could feel himself so close to finishing already.

Lexi hadn't realized it but Sheldon had kept that book by his bed for a reason, as soon as she was asleep he was reading. He had skipped the parts about women pleasuring men as he felt them unnecessary until tonight, but he had read on how to pleasure women.

Sheldon moved his hand back between he thighs and started to rub her clit, slowly at first and then faster, the more he moved his body the quicker he went.

Lexi's hips jolted, her body quivering under his touch, her hands took hold of the headboard as she fell into the most intense orgasm she had ever experienced, calling out Sheldon's name.

As Sheldon felt her go around him his body betrayed him, he was hoping to last just a few more seconds but he couldn't make it, he relaxed his body on hers, breathing rapidly, repeating her name over and over.

When Sheldon rolled onto his side of the bed Lexi turned and rested her arm on his chest, she reached down after a few minutes to remove the condom and put it in the bin.

Sheldon and Lexi awoke the next morning to sounds of knocking on the bedroom door, it was Bernadette, or it could have been Howards mother, it was difficult to tell the difference.

"Will you two lovebirds get out here and get ready or so help me God" the voice shouted. Sheldon bolted out of bed, too worried about what the consequences would be if he didn't. Lexi grabbed his hand as he rushed, placing her finger over her beautiful smile, she pointed at the clock, it was only 7am, they had only overslept by half an hour according to the schedule.

"Shhhh, lay down" she told him in a whisper, he didn't know who to obey, the naked woman in his bed or the angry woman outside of his door. Sheldon laid on the bed as Lexi moved across the room and locked the door silently.

She moved back to the bed and kissed Sheldons lips, she wanted a few more minutes of him before the chaos began.

She could feel him hardening under her as she moved, her hips teased him slowly, causing him to moan.

"Can we do this in ten minutes?" she asked, she didn't know how long it would be until there friends broke the door down.

Sheldon nodded enthusiastically as she put on the protection, she moved so that she was directly over him and lowered herself, this position made him go deeper than ever, she could feel herself breaking as he went where no man had gone before.

Lexi couldn't help but cry out in pleasure, her hands took hold of Sheldons as they moved, synchronized, she moved vertically, growing more and more intense.

Lexi brought her knees up so her feet were supporting her weight so she could increase the speed and pressure of their lovemaking, her hands crushed Sheldons as she dived into her orgasm, calling out words she didn't think she knew.

Sheldon could feel himself being squeezed tighter by her muscles more than he ever thought possible, he must be deep inside her for this to occur he thought, hoping to last five seconds let alone ten minutes, as he felt Lexi come he had no choice and climaxed at the same time, shouting to a Deity as he did so.

"Will you two stop with the shenanigans on my big day" they heard through the door, they concluded from how and what was said that it was Bernadette.

They adorned their dressing gowns and headed through to the living room. Bernadette was nowhere to be seen, they were met with shocked looks from Howard, Raj and Leonard, and a very angry expression from Howards mother, Mrs Wolowitz.


	11. Chapter 11

Lexi made herself and Sheldon some tea whilst Sheldon made them some breakfast, he was going to ask if anyone wanted anything but judging from the looks on the faces in the living area he was too afraid to speak.

Mrs Wolowitz looked like she was going to have a fit, she was a very large lady who dominated any space she was in, not just through her sheer size but also her attitude. Her voice could shatter the hardest of men.

Sheldon and Lexi took their breakfast and beverages over to Penny's apartment where the girls were getting prepared. Sheldon felt particularly uncomfortable knowing that under his gown he was only wearing a pair of y fronts.

"Hi girlies" Lexi said walking through, her bridesmaids dress was hung up and ready for her, Bernadette had even insisted that she and Penny wear matching underwear that were the same color as the dresses they were wearing for the day.

"Hi" said Penny, giving them a mischievous smile.

"What kept you guys, Lexi you were meant to be here ages ago!" shouted Bernadette, walking through from the bedroom, her hands filled with make up.

"We overslept" Sheldon explained.

"Yeah, we heard you 'oversleeping" Penny said, taking a sip from her coffee cup, causing both Lexi and Sheldon to turn red.

Penny did her own makeup whilst Lexi showered, coming through in just a towel. Bernadette sat in the chair and Lexi did her makeup for her, just plain, simple colors with a dash of pink lipstick.

Bernadette went and did Penny's hair while Lexi dried hers off, Sheldon watched the scene unfold in front of him, he was trying to think of ways to speed up the process, when he came up with a plan he wanted to tell them, the only problem was they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Sheldon headed back to his own apartment to shower and dress, Howards mother still looking at him with an expression filled with resentment.

"The women are doing things to each other in an unspeakably inefficient manner" Sheldon announced, causing the guys to leap up off their chairs and dash over, disappointed only to find them putting on makeup and doing their hair.

Sheldon walked into the kitchen, he was clean and wearing a tuxedo that Lexi had assisted him into choosing. According to her, he looked sexy, even though he was now poor because of the high price tag.

"Howard you are not wearing that frikaska alien head on your wedding day!" Mrs Wolowitz screeched from Leonards room,

"Why does Howard need help getting dressed by his mother, is it weird or a tradition?" asked Raj, confused as he had never been to an American wedding before.

"It's just weird" Leonard said from the kitchen.

"I just hope Bernadette throws the bouquet, I love that idea, maybe I can catch it!" Raj exclaimed, causing both Sheldon and Leonard to exchange looks.

Howard came through looking upset, he couldn't allow his mum to win this battle, his friends understood why Howard loved his alien head pins, his mum knew too, thats why she didn't like them.

One month before his father walked out on them he had taken Howard to Comicon, while they were there he had bought his son his very first alien head pin to mark the special occasion, every year since then Howard had always purchased an alien head pin at the convention. It was perhaps the only part of his father he had left.

Despite how much resentment he had for the man, Howard still wanted him to be part of the biggest day of his life.

There was a knock on the door, Sheldon went to open it and before him stood his own mother,

"Mum, what are you doing here?" he asked, panicking that he had invited her and not realized it was today.

"Hello Shelly, I'm here for the little Jewish kids weddin" Mrs Cooper said in her strong racist Texan accent.

Mrs Cooper looked wonderful, she was in a yellow skirt suit with a matching clip in her hair, her skin always had a healthy tanned glow to it.

"Oh, yeah, Sheldon, we invited your mum to the wedding, we wanted it to be a surprise." Howard explained as Mrs Cooper fixed the pin neatly into his collar.

"You know I hate surprises, why would you make me hate a visit from my Mother" Sheldon asked, folding his arms defensively.

"Oh come now Shelly bean, it was a lovely gesture, what are you so afraid of? now, I am a guest in your home so what do you do"

"Would you like a hot beverage?" Sheldon asked.

"Tea please" she requested, sitting on the couch in Lexi's spot. She had asked what he was so afraid of and this was it, he had never introduced a girlfriend to his mother before and therefore didn't know what to do.

Sheldon joined Leonard in the kitchen, he was crouching behind the fridge door laughing hysterically at the situation Sheldon had gotten himself into.

"Leonard what do I do?" Sheldon asked, hoping for some reassurance.

"Go get Lexi and introduce them to each other, I'm sure it will be fine" Leonard replied in a hushed tone.

"Fine, fine! you think it will be fine! it will be a disaster of such a Biblical proportion I may as well go build an arc and start to heard the animals in two by two!" Sheldon said in a forced whisper.

"Whats wrong? Lexi is lovely!" Leonard replied. He was right, any woman would be lucky to have her as a daughter in law.

"Lexi is lovely, it's not Lexi I'm worried about, after meeting my mum what if she doesn't want to see me anymore?" Sheldon argued.

"Shelly hows the tea comin?" Mrs Cooper shouted.

"It's nearly ready mum!" he called back.

"Here, drink this" he told Leonard, handing him a full 2 pints of milk.

"What, why?" He asked.

"So I will have to go and get some more" Sheldon explained. Leonard sighed and gulped down the white liquid before dashing to the bathroom.

"Oh dear, were all outta milk, I'll go ask Penny if she has any." Sheldon explained as he left the apartment.

He knocked on Pennys door in his usual manner, Lexi opened it, Sheldon was taken aback, she was breathtaking. Lexi was wearing her hair in curls, light make up, a deep purple dress that was open at the back and not overly modest at the front, and matching purple high heels.

"Hi sweetheart, everything ok?" she asked, Sheldon shook his head 'no' and explained the situation.

"Lexi is wonderful, your mum will love her." Penny said reassuringly, Sheldon explained that it wasn't Lexi he was worried about.

He told her all about his mums phrases, the fact she calls him Shelly and other remarks Lexi may find disturbing.

"I'm sure she is lovely Sheldon, after all she raised you, I'd love to meet her where is she?" Lexi asked.

Sheldon took her back to his apartment, "Mum, this is Lexi, she's my girlfriend, please be nice." he said. His mother stood there in shock, her youngest had a beautiful young woman in his hand saying they were together.

"It's lovely to meet you" Mary said, shaking Lexi's hand, pulling her closer while Sheldon made the tea.

"Just to be clear your not a robot are you?" she asked, needing to be sure.

"No,no I'm real I assure you" Lexi explained. She and Mary chatted about Sheldon growing up in Texas, she was asked to go and stay with the Cooper family when she and Sheldon could next take a vacation.

Sheldon listened to the women talking, hoping beyond everything that Lexi wouldn't suddenly run off on him.

Penny put her head through the door,

"Come on guys, the cars are here, oh hey Mrs Cooper!"she said, ushering them out of the apartment.

Howard, his mother, and Leonard and Raj (as his best men) were in the first car. Bernadette, Sheldon, Lexi, Penny and Mary were in the second.

Howard, his mother and Raj all seated themselves at the front of the hall as Penny and Leonard and Sheldon and Lexi walked through to the music, Mary sat herself down in a chair on Howards side, offering him some reassurance and talking to Mrs Wolowitz.

The Bride looked fabulous as she walked down the aisle to the music, she was wearing a white Vera Wang and her smile said it all, it really was the happiest day of her life.

She and Howard exchanged their vows and said their 'I do's' and sealed there promises with a kiss.

The reception was wonderful, there were around two hundred guests all marveling at the touch screen seating plan, it lasted a while but after the buffet and speeches everyone dispersed to different chairs and tables, talking amongst each other.

Early evening the dancing started, People were on the dance floor in no time, Sheldon didn't like the social convention where people dance in groups, having other bystanders marveling from the outside.

However Sheldon watched his friends dancing, even Raj was dancing with Mary, he felt like he should step in.

He thought of a song he could dance to and wrote it on a piece of paper, handing it to the band as a request.

After ten minutes of agony Sheldon heard the singer start his song, it's called 'the way you look tonight'.

He leaned over to her ear and whispered,

"Would you like to dance with me?"

Lexi threw him a smile and said yes, He took her hand and the walked out onto the floor together, Mary watched her son with the woman in his arms, it was obvious they were closer than anything he had ever had before, which was nothing actually.

Lexi took Sheldons cravat off of him and wrapped it around her neck, she snuggled up into a wonderful slow dance.


	12. Chapter 12

Lexi, Sheldon and the other guests were waving off the happy couple. Bernadette and Howard were vacationing in Florida.

When they told Sheldon his words were:

"Thats a wonderful state to visit, bearing in mind you enjoy such attributes as oranges, hurricanes and alligators. Gateway to discovery my posterior."

The summer breeze was turning chilly and the gathering went indoors.

Sheldon was getting a glass of Dr Pepper when he saw his mother walking over to Lexi, she sat down next to her, in Sheldons spot.

"So where are you from honey?" Mary asked, wanting to know as much about her as she could get out.

"I'm from Boston, my family all still live there." she told her.

"And, what are your family like? what was it like for you growing up?" Mary was now asking in FBI mode.

"Well my mum works in a florist and my dad owns an auction house, it's pretty boring really, I went to good schools and played games, did some charity work.

I had a great upbringing, my parents are really cool." Lexi replied, spotting Sheldon from across the room, he saw her eyes, they were pleading for him to help.

"If they are so cool why did you move away?" Mary quizzed, hoping for some reason why she would date her youngest son.

"Erm, I moved because I wanted to become a writer, if I'd of stayed I wouldn't have had any independence. Besides, California is where all the top journalists end up" Lexi said, watching Sheldon as he slowly crept over to the table.

"But, my son got you the Caltech job, what did you do before that?" Mary dug deeper, she needed to know this woman better, even if she did sound rude.

"I'm going to be completely honest with you Mary, I danced around a pole dressed as catwoman with a light saber, it was good money and I could write in my own time, I wasn't a hooker, it was all legal." Lexi finished, tired of the inquisition.

Sheldon had heard her remarks and jumped to the seat next to his mother, feeling very uncomfortable, not just because of the topic under discussion but also because it wasn't his spot.

"Well, in this life you gotta do what you gotta do, I admire your enthusiasm. If Sheldon likes ya then I like ya, thats the truth, besides I've danced round many a pole in my day." Mary replied.

Sheldon grabbed Lexi by the hand and led her onto the dancefloor, he didn't look happy.

"I'm sorry Sheldon but she kept asking me questions, I didn't realize it was a secret." Lexi pleaded, the look on his face was heartbreaking, he looked so ill.

"I don't care what you tell my mother, I'm not ashamed of what you used to do in fact I agree with what she said." Sheldon told her, putting his arm around her waist dancing to 'Lady in Red'

"Oh, I thought you didn't look happy, sorry." she reiterated.

"I don't mind that you used to do it, it's the idea that my mum used to do it that makes me feel nauseated." Sheldon said, resting his chin in the crook of her neck.

Leonard drove Penny, Mary, Lexi and Sheldon home, it was only twenty minutes away and on the journey they discussed the details of the wedding, Mrs Wolowitz challenging Bernadettes Father to a duel, Howard saying his vows in Klingon and Bernadette throwing the bouquet, only for Penny to catch it, leaving Raj devastated.

Leonard stayed at Penny's so Mary could sleep in his room, she was shocked to see Sheldon and Lexi head off together to the room next to hers, she imagined Lexi to have been sleeping on the couch.

Sheldon laid awake thinking about his mum's chat with Lexi, she didn't seem phased by it but it bothered him.

It was hard to be in a relationship where someone knows everything about you, he was amazed she had stayed with him this long, he was sure as he walked over to the table earlier that evening that Lexi would terminate them as a couple, but she didn't.

What phased him even more was that his mum had been right, he knew she was trying to find the reason why Lexi was with him, to be completely honest he didn't know himself why she liked him.

Sheldon turned onto his side, sure he was brilliant and had a working knowledge of the universe the people on the planet could only dream of matching, but he wouldn't call himself handsome, he didn't like conventional activities, he was a lonely guy who flies kites, reads novels about two dimensional universes and gets drunk in virtual reality taverns.

"Lexi?" he said in what can only be described as a loud whisper.

"Hmm?" she replied, still half asleep.

"What do you like about me?" he asked.

"Your good in bed."She told him in jest.

Sheldon stared at her, he didn't really know how to follow that one up.

"I know that, what else?" he proceeded.

Lexi opened her eyes, she saw that Sheldon was worried, his eyes full of curiosity, the same expression he has when trying to work out a difficult equation.

"You're sweet, intelligent, funny and a rogue night elf, what more can a girl want?" she told him, she wasn't lying.

There were many examples she could give him that would inflate his ego but she was tired and didn't appreciate being woken at two am.

Sheldon was happy with this answer, the reasons were true after all, it kept him happy enough for him to fall asleep.

The next morning Mary woke up and stared at the ceiling, her little boy had finally reached adolescence, she was proud of him but hoped he could have told her over the phone and given her some warning.

It was a shock for her to see a beautiful woman next to her son, of coarse he deserved the best, the only trouble was she didn't think the best would want him, he isn't the easiest guy to like.

There were loud noises coming from the next room, she could hear someone getting up and going into the bathroom, she heard the shower turn on and then another person followed them. They were sleeping in the same bed and showering together.

Sheldon awoke to Lexi on him, kissing his earlobe, the alcohol in her system had worn off from the night before and her motor skills had returned.

"We cant have coitus with my mum in the next room" he whispered, quietly enough for noone in the flat to hear.

"we need some noise to drown us out" Lexi said, matching Sheldons hushed tone.

She climbed out of bed and used her finger to make a beckoning motion to Sheldon, she rounded the corner to the bathroom and walked in, Sheldon in pursuit.

Lexi had the shower running to the right temperature and climbed in, stepping on adhesive ducks as she did so.

Sheldon removed his pajamas and joined her.

The shower was loud and hot, steam filled the room in minutes, Lexi continued to suckle on his earlobe while Sheldon used the washcloth to clean her, he started on her back, shoulders, he moved slowly and took his time around her buttocks, enjoying the feel of them as she moaned.

As she was so close he could hear her louder. Sheldon reached over and put more soap on the cloth, wiping it over her breasts and stomach. Lexi took it off of him and repeated his actions, starting high and worked her way down.

She moved the cloth in the anti clockwise motion she knew he loved on his chest, Sheldons head leaned back against the tiled wall, savoring each movement she made. occasionally she would find an area that when touched made him catch his breath.

To Sheldon this was more intimate than sex, it was much more relaxing.


	13. Chapter 13

Mary got dressed in a white skirt suit and knocked on the bathroom door,

"Shelly come on were goina church!" she shouted, Sheldon had lied to his mum since he moved, hoping she would stop nagging at him about his religious beliefs by saying that he spent his Sunday mornings in church, she didn't believe them for a moment.

Sheldon and Lexi emerged in their bathrobes and went to the kitchen where Mary was waiting.

"I don't want to go to see a gathering of people who believe that when they die will end up in a mystical wonderland, or that they think a man will come back from the dead without the process of 'cryonics' or suspended animation." Sheldon whined.

He had plans for that day, he planned on enjoying the remote controlled Dalek he had bought on Tuesday night. It had voice activation software and numerous phrases it could say.

"Jesus gave you the science stuff so you need to thank him, stop moaning, remember the twelfth commandment, 'Honor thy father and thy mother'" Mary told her son.

"I do honor you in a sense that I hold you in greatest respect, I just don't want to go to Church and I don't appreciate you forcing me by quoting decalogues" Sheldon threw back.

He was in a stubborn mood. Lexi was listening whilst making toast, trying not to laugh, like mother like son.

"I don't know what that means but you march yourself into that room and get dressed young man! If you and Lexi are going to be living in sin it's gonna take more than me praying to get you both into eternal bliss!" Mary said, pointing at Sheldons bedroom door.

Lexi saw how much this meant to Mary so she took Sheldon by the hand and took him to the room and got out a suit and tie.

"If it means that much to your mum then we should just do it, besides, she is kinda right, we are living in sin." Lexi reasoned.

"There is no sin taking place, the Bible says God objects to immoral sex, ours is not immoral." Sheldon said, looking at Lexi who was growing very red.

Sheldon went back to the living room and made this argument to his mother, she was tired of the conversation and left alone.

Penny came over after seeing Mary in the hallway and being lectured at how she herself could use a good dollop of religion, she passed on the offer, however kind it was meant to be.

"I'm doing my horoscopes, Sheldon according to You need to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, Why not take a few steps back and try to look at your life more objectively? Force yourself to be festive tonight. It will do you good to get out." she read off of her laptop.

"You know my feelings about this hokum, it is more likely the Swiss will replace the large hadron collider with a magic eight ball than one of your horoscopes coming true." Sheldon argued.

"Yeah whatever, Lexi whens your birthday?"Penny asked, brushing off a typical Sheldon response.

"it's 22nd of March. What does that make me?" Lexi asked curiously.

"Aries, This could be a day of inner turmoil, Aries. You'll rethink some of your fundamental values, unsure if they're still relevant to your life. It's clear that some soul searching is needed" Penny read aloud.

"Well that could be referring to the fact I nearly went to church this morning." Lexi replied.

"Wait, your birthdays March 22nd?" Sheldon asked.

"Yeah, why?" Lexi said.

"Thats two weeks away, why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"I didn't really think about it, I normally just go and see my folks. Nothing special" Lexi told him.

"But it's a non optional social convention that I purchase for you a gift to congratulate you on the anniversary of your expulsion from a birth canal!" Sheldon said, going over gift ideas in his head.

"Sheldon you don't have to get me a gift!" Lexi said, laughing at his worried expression.

"I'm sorry but were you listening? it's non optional, Penny drive me to the mall." he ordered. Penny rolled her eyes and went back to her apartment to get her keys while Sheldon got his shoes on and finished his tea.

Sheldon and Penny were at the Glendale Galleria, Penny insisted on looking at jewellery and smelly soaps but Sheldon wasn't sure, he wanted to get her something she would remember forever.

Sheldon bought them both smoothies to drink as the mulled around on the shop floors.

"Why not do something nice like take her out?" Penny suggested,

"Well Comicon is going to be on, I could buy her a ticket" Sheldon suggested, it wasn't what Penny had in mind but it was a start.

"ok so where do you buy tickets for geek reunions?"Penny asked, thinking of the shops here and wondering where would actually have the audacity to sell such an item.

"You purchase them online, I can do it now, Thanks to wireless technology, I can print them off when I get home." Sheldon said as he got his Ipad out of his bag and started hitting the touchscreen.

"So what are we gonna do now?" Penny asked.

"We can search for a gift, I believe it is conventional for 'boyfriends' to take their 'girlfriends' out on their birthday, I have just arranged for that, instead of having dinner we can ask David Tennant why he made the mistake of leaving Dr Who. I still need to purchase a gift." He explained.

"What do you really think she would want?" Penny asked, making him think.

"Well when we first met she seemed to imply that she liked my Ipad, maybe something like that?" Sheldon suggested, they went to the Apple store where Sheldon announced that he was a genuine genius unlike the frauds who claim to be that work there.

After looking at the products in the price range he settled for an ipod touch, it was basically an Ipad but Lexi could keep it in her jean pockets, it was perfect.

Penny also bought a $15 app store voucher and a $15 iTunes card. that was her and Leonards gift for her sorted.

Mary returned from church to find Lexi sitting on the couch alone watching TV. Mary took note that she was in her sons spot.

"I didn't think he allowed anyone to sit there" she announced.

"Nah, we can sit here when he's not around" Lexi replied, looking up from the TV and giving Mary a smile.

She sat down on the couch next to her sons new girlfriend.

"I'm really pleased he has found someone that makes him happy, you know, when he was in the forth grade he swore he wouldn't run after the girls in the playground like the other boys did.

Back then it was just harmless fun but growing up he never took any notice of the opposite sex, we all thought he was broken or something." Mary said, smiling as she told the story.

"To be honest when I first met him I was barely dressed yet he was watching a film! I thought the same as you, you know, maybe he was broken or damaged somehow but I also thought to myself, wow, this guys is really quite something.

Out of all the men in the room watching me he was the only thing I could concentrate on." Lexi said, recounting the time in the club.

"He is easy to break, I'm sorry if I have given you a hard time but I don't want Shelly to get in too deep if it's not going to last, but you seem like a perfectly lovely young lady and it's obvious Shelly's mad about you.

I just wanted to make sure you felt the same way." Mary explained, she had been hard on the poor girl but she had to find out the truth.

"I do, I'm surprised he was single to be honest." Lexi said looking back at the TV as Mary left the room to change.


End file.
